God: “How many times do I have to say it? Don’t kill each other anymore – ever!”

The Onion: September 26, 2001: “God Angrily Clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ Rule”: Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday. “Look, I don’t know, maybe I haven’t made myself completely […]

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