Karl Martino – 2/8/99
This was originally posted to the QuitNet smoking cessation site on 2/8/99. If you are interested in quitting smoking, I would suggest checking it out.
Wow. Here I am. Over ten years ago I let myself become a slave to smoking, and for three months now, I havebeen free of it. Well, at least in one sense….
It would call me in the middle of the night to purchase a pack, braving any kind of weather. It would demand a drag before office meetings or during casual conversations. It would urge me to take a puff before my true feelings were revealed in intense situations. It would convince me I had to smoke to be creative,bold or cool. The nicodemon has many faces and voices I’ve learned. Filling me with lies and half-truths.
Amazing what an addiction feels like. Giving it a “demon” like persona, makes it a little easier to deal with.
Early 1998 I promised myself I would begin my life as an ex-smoker. For my future wife, for hopefully my future children, for myself. I went through numerous “practice” runs. Patches once, and 6 times cold turkey. Each time having to remind myself that the attempted quit wasn’t a failure, but hopefully a lesson learned.
What made this time different? In no particular order:
At first, quitting smoking felt like losing a limb. But now I recognize that that was just the way I felt then and had no basis in truth. The “cravings” still come sometimes. Playing my guitar, after eating, before a meeting. Just now, much less so. And I have a better set of tools to deal with them. I know my road is still tough. But I can feel the load lightening a bit. I must be careful now.
I am almost an elder. But saddly, my life is so active, I rarely get the chance here to offer my support. Luckily, I know those who are struggling are in good hands with the great group here.
Congrats to all those celebrating a milestone. And keep the faith all of you. Remember – you can do this.
3 Months, 3 Days, 11 Hours and 55 Minutes. Over $420, 13 Days and 13 Hours of my life saved.