Tag Archives: achievement

Effort Counts

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Calvin Coolidge famously said: Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination are omnipotent. The slogan press on has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Seth Godin: Is effort a myth?

Overcoming Bias: Make an Extraordinary Effort

All we can do is play the cards we are dealt the best we can. And try to do so with every hand.

“7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable”

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A terrifc, biting essay, that I wish I wrote: 7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable: I’m just going to quote number seven, because it helps point to why I do some of the crazy things I do online, make sure to read the whole thing:

7. We feel worthless because we actually are worth less.

There’s one advantage to having mostly online friends, and it’s one that nobody ever talks about:

They demand less from you.

Sure, you emotionally support them, comfort them after a breakup, maybe even talk them out of a suicide. But knowing someone in meatspace adds a whole, long list of annoying demands. Wasting your whole afternoon helping them fix their computer. Going to funerals with them. Toting them around in your car every day after theirs gets repossessed by the bank. Having them show up unannounced when you were just settling in to watch the Dirty Jobs marathon on the Discovery channel and then talk about how hungry they are until you finally give them half your sandwich.

You have so much more control in AOL Messanger, or in chat, or in World of Warcraft.

But here’s the thing. You are hard-wired by evolution to need to do things for people. Everybody for the last five thousand years seemed to realize this and then we suddenly forgot it in the last few decades. We get suicidal teens and scramble to teach them self-esteem. Well, unfortunately, self-esteem and the ability to like yourself only come after you’ve done something that makes you likable. You can’t bullshit yourself. If I think Todd over here is worthless for sitting in his room all day, drinking and playing video games, doesn’t it follow that I’m worthless for doing the same thing?

It doesn’t matter what you tell yourself, or what slogans you memorize about how everyone is special. You’ll think of yourself as special when you do something special. If you think of yourself as special prior to actually doing something special, you’re not healthy and well-balanced. You’re a narcissist, disconnected from reality.

You want to break out of that black tar pit of self-hatred? Brush the black hair out of your eyes, step away from the computer, and buy a nice gift for someone you loathe. Send a card to your worst enemy. Make dinner for Mom and Dad. Or just do something simple, with an tangible result. Go clean the leaves out of the gutter and listen to the sound of the free-flowing water the next time it rains.

It ain’t rocket science; you are a social animal and thus you are born with little happiness hormones that are released into your bloodstream when you see someone else benefitting from your actions. You can line up for yourself a spread of your favorite liquor, your favorite video game, your favorite movie and your favorite sex act, and the sum total of them won’t give you the same kind of lasting happiness you’d get from helping the cranky old lady down the street drag her garbage to the curb.

This is why office jobs make so many of us miserable; you don’t get to see the fruit of your labor. But work construction out in the hot sun for two months, and for the rest of your life you can drive past a certain house and say, “holy shit, I built that.”

That level of satisfaction, the “I built that” or “I grew that” or “I fed that guy” or “I made these pants” feeling, can’t be matched by anything the internet has to offer.

Except, you know, this website.

What is success?

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Every time I’ve been interviewed about Philly Future, inevitably the question comes, “what is your business model?”. This is where I pause, mention the site currently has none, and that one day I expect it will emerge. I hypothesize on a few ideas, but lay down we’ll only go with one if it benefits the community. The bottom line is I have no concrete idea what that model is yet.

Admitting you don’t know something is sign of weakness in some circles. I can tell in these interview situations, I’ve made myself and Philly Future look bad. Since Philly Future, is not a big, well known, “grassroots” (with millions of investment dollars) service, this makes it harder to get taken seriously by some. I’m blessed to have it associated with a terrific team which doesn’t think so short sighted, and with a growing community that is pushing the boundaries of what it can do.

I’ve always felt admitting I don’t know something has always been a source of strength. An opportunity so that I can learn and grow.

One thing about success I’ve recently come to peace with is that cash alone can’t define it. I recently mucked up a generous offer, with a team I respect and want to help, because I wouldn’t walk away from Philly Future, was already quite happy (and challenged, I have much to learn) where I am, and didn’t want to sacrifice the already meager time I have with my family.

Past a certain point, past the struggles of poverty, once you get to a place where you can realistically dream of where you want to go or experience in life, cash, and the struggles to find it, can drag you down and will distract you from what’s really important.

Shelley Powers, in a post about BlogHer, says:

I won’t write on BlogHer again. No truly, this time I won’t. I would ask that the company remove the tagline “Where the Women are”, because it really isn’t all that true anymore. Is it? Still, if they don’t, such is life.

I also wish, and I mean it, much success for the organization. I have no illusions that I will change anyone’s viewpoint with this writing. Perhaps the emphasis on women’s purchasing power can, this time, be used as a weapon for social change. In this, I hope they succeed.

I’m going a different path, though. One that doesn’t measure success based on ads, links, and revenue. And I’m not going to look back.

Wish more thought that way in the world. But everyone is selling something aren’t they? It’s human nature. Shoot, Shelley is selling something to us in her post. A set of ideas and ideals. Take them or leave them.

Success, for many, seems to be about fame, fortune, power, and inclusion in some exclusive group. Is it human nature that we subconsciously exercise the 48 Laws of Power and use them on a daily basis? A question to ask yourself is what is your effective truth?

It’s not success when we let these drivers define success for us. It’s something all together different.

How do I resolve social mobility?

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An interesting question: Ask MetaFilter: How do I resolve social mobility?:

Any anecdotes about fitting in with a new class that’s not the one you grew up with? This isn’t so much “selling out” versus “keeping it real,” but just the ways that people adapt to the change.

I’ve found the people I meet and spend time with are more and more from a higher social class than the one I’ve grown up in (we’re college-age, here). Further, the more ambitious I get, the more I notice the effect. So how does one resolve the issue of living in “two worlds?” It’s started to feel like I need to make a choice between alienating all my old friends/family, or giving up on whatever big, important things I want to do with my life. Obviously, that just ain’t gonna work, so I’m looking for advice from people who have felt the same way at some point.

One other thing to note: at least into the forseeable future (next 5 years), I’ll be in the same socioeconomic class, in that I’ll still a college/professional student, without some new level of income. It’s not that I’m nouveu riche all of a sudden, I’m just socially conflicted.