FDR: Oh, I’m sorry, was wiping out our entire Pacific fleet supposed to intimidate us? We have nothing to fear but fear itself, and right now we’re coming to kick your ass with brand new destroyers riveted by waitresses. How’s that going to feel?

CHURCHILL: Yeah, you keep bombing us. We’ll be in the pub, flipping you off. I’m slapping Rolls-Royce engines into untested flying coffins to knock you out of the skies, and then I’m sending angry Welshmen to burn your country from the Rhine to the Polish border.

JFK: You’re going to put nukes where? I don’t fucking think so.

REAGAN: Okay commrade, you’ve gone and built enough nuclear weapons to radiate the world. You have spies stealing state secrets and minions spreading ideology from one continent to the next. But. ummm, I’m sorry red, you still don’t get it. You’re the evil empire but that doesn’t scare us, we have faith in our system of government, in our people. Sit down with us – negotiate – or show the world the coward you are. Don’t even think of attacking us. Put down your guns. Wage peace while you have the chance. Tear down this wall.

US. NOW: BE AFRAID!! Oh God, the Brown Bad people could strike any moment! They could strike … NOW!! AHHHH. Okay, how about .. NOW!! AAGAGAHAHAHHAG! Quick, do whatever we tell you, and believe whatever we tell you, or YOU WILL BE KILLED BY BROWN PEOPLE!! PUT DOWN THAT SIPPY CUP!!

WE GOTTA PUT UP SOME WALLS! HURRY! Anything that stands in our way is pre-9/11 thinking, including that document interpreted by activist judges (I think that’s called the Constitution, damned liberals).

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The previous is an expanded take on the brilliant “Wait, Aren’t You Scared?” by John Rogers and “Fear itself” by slacktivist. Make sure to read both.

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Politics is an on again, off again subject here, but like Rafe, I found I couldn’t help myself. “How can people not get it?” I don’t know man. I don’t know.