In the past, I fooled myself into thinking I could not miss what I did not have.
I grew up without a father.
Looking at many I grew up with, sometimes I thought I had it better. I had quite a few friends with dad issues that haunt them to this day.
But now, upon reflection, it feels like I’ve simultaneously lost a Mom and a Dad.
What a strange thing to write. I must be entering the so called ‘anger’ phase.
If only life were that sequential, I could expect the emotions to wash over me, to pass me by on my way towards ‘acceptance’.
But our lives aren’t really like that are they? They happen, in a cosmic kinda level, at something resembling all at once, and our minds attempt to give it order and structure, if there are such things, they are beyond our current understanding.
All I know is that Mom did exist, and she left a legacy in me, in her other sons. Her grandchildren and great grandchildren.
I’m rambling on my blog. Not like me at all. I’m trying to reach for something in writing I can’t quite get to yet. And my guitar is failing me on some level.
So good night folks.