Now read the whole thing: “The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster”

Matthew Frederick Davis Hemming has kindly made available his entire work of fan fiction (some of the best I’ve read – fun and thought provoking all at once) chronologically as html and pdf. Check it out.

Arrived at the Death Star. Spent the day in meetings. I need a stiff drink.

Whether or not history appreciates the fact I am more than just a tyrannical dark overlord — I’m also an engineer. So my first meeting upon stepping into the landing hangar from my shuttle was with the chiefs of all of the station’s operational divisions, the victim of long multimedia presentations from each department detailing their progress, expenditures, and time-table for task completion.

I fell asleep for a while, but nobody could tell because of my masque.

The bottom line is that, with the exception of one department, every system promises to be one hundred percent for tomorrow’s big test. The chief of the errant division was apologetic, but I was unimpressed. He said, “We’ll have the internal security sensors operational before the week is out, of that much I can assure you with nearly full confidence, Lord Vader.”

“That is insufficient.”

He shrugged and shook his head. “What can I say? Good, fast, or cheap: pick two.”

I pointed my gloved hand at him and he began struggling for air. He clawed at his throat, his eyes bulging as he slid off his seat and hit the floor. He convulsed briefly before the final stillness. “You’re fired,” I said.